April 8, 2021
7 minutes of reading
Comments expressed by Businessmen the contributors are their own.
My father doesn’t want me.
He left before I was even born. He never wanted to be a father in the first place.
Logically, I know that not everyone wants to be a parent. Some people don’t have a parent’s bones in their body. Or they believe they are not cut to take on such a great responsibility. But one child brain inconsequential. In my mind, there are only five words left: My father doesn’t want me.
And that year has turned into something else. One core trust which I have held up in my adult years: I do not deserve.
That core belief has influenced self-esteem. It gets me stuck in toxic cycles and relationships. It prevented me from chasing my dream.
It wasn’t until I turned 20 that I learned about “limiting beliefs” and how to convert them to something more positive.
So what is limiting belief?
Limiting belief is a belief, worldview or state of mind that limits you in some way. They can be about you, other people or the way the world works. They can get you stuck in the decisions that keep you from living the life you want to live.
Guess what? Most of us have some form of belief restriction. Businessmen Is no exception! I have spent the past seven years helping entrepreneurs from all backgrounds build the thriving businesses they love. I have worked with life coaches, publicity specialist, energy healer, trauma healer, designer, dancer, teacher, VA, writer, real estate agent and more!
Just each of them trying to overcome limited beliefs. The incapable people did that thinking before we worked together.
I’ve also noticed that there are some myths surrounding the idea of limiting beliefs that make it harder for some people to dismiss them. That’s what I want to troubleshoot today.
Myth # 1: These are just thoughts that get stuck in repetition
Limited belief, as I mentioned, is a core belief. They are ingrained in your psychology – often in your childhood or as a result of some sort of traumatic event. (Note: A traumatic event is possible anything that has a profound negative effect on you.) Yes, they can manifest in the form of thoughts and “voices” in your mind that tell you the negative things about yourself that you believe in. But they are more than that.
In fact, limiting your beliefs is such an ingrained part of who you are that it is hard to figure out what they are. For example, Gay Hendrix talks about a limited belief known as the “upper limit problem”. It is the belief that we are only allowed to be happy at a certain level in our lives. And when we feel we reach that limit, we destroy ourselves with things like lack of confidence and procrastination.
Confidence is like poison ivy. You cannot just cut the vine – you have to go deep into the roots. And part of that is realizing that core beliefs are broad, nonspecific. For example, you might hear yourself say, “I don’t know enough about business to do well.” However, if you dig deep enough, you may realize that your true core belief is I’m not good enough. And I bet once you realize what that core belief is, you’ll see how it impacts all areas of your life – not just your business. That’s when you know you’re going somewhere!
Myth # 2: You just need to replace them with positive thoughts
I wish this was true! It will make life a lot easier. If restricting beliefs are just thoughts over and over in your brain, then getting rid of them is as simple as thinking about other thoughts on a regular basis.
But that’s not how it works. I’ve seen a lot of people give up because their limited beliefs don’t go away after months of repeating positive affirmations. Don’t get me wrong, I think these can be helpful. But they are not the solution for themselves. In fact, converting limited beliefs to the good is a process that takes more time and effort. And it starts by taking down that core belief and reprogramming it first. After that, positive affirmations can do the work they intend to do.
Myth # 3: You cannot change them
Some believe that because limiting beliefs are part of who you are, you can’t change them. Measure is not true!
There is evidence that the brain is malleable and changeable. You can use methods like theta therapy and hypnotherapy to alter the way your synapses activate, meaning you can alter the beliefs programmed into your brain. A book with this beautiful look is The brain changes itself (2007) by Norman Doidge, MD
Myth # 4: They take a lifetime to change
This is not something I often hear, but I felt I had to deal with it. Some believe that if you’ve had a limited belief in your entire life, it can take a long time to get rid of it. While I 100% believe that changing limit beliefs for good takes time, I don’t believe you have to get stuck with them for years or decades once you decide to do something with them. .
Do you need to work to overcome your belief limitations and turn them into something that supports you rather than holds you back? Sure! But doesn’t this kind of change work?
There are many methods and tools you can use to help you change your limited beliefs. These include therapy, hypnotherapy, and energy healing.
Myth # 5: Family members cannot change
Another thing I have come across is the belief that the limited beliefs that were instilled in you in your childhood or by your family cannot be eliminated. I think the reason behind this is that your family knows you better than anyone else – maybe even better than yourself. So if they tell you something about yourself, it must be true!
The truth is, no one can tell you who you are but yourself. And you can choose believe what.
Another thing I believe the factors that lead to this myth is fear. As humans, we yearn to belong and be loved – and family members are often the only people we believe to accept and love us. But there is a fear that if we change our beliefs or behaviors, our family will no longer bring us that feeling of familiarity, security and love. We don’t want that!
The thing to remember in such cases is that you can let go of family beliefs that have not served you and still be loved, safe and accepted. And that if letting go of harmful or restrictive beliefs will eventually repel harmful / restrictive humans… that’s not a bad thing. In fact, sometimes the thought that you have to accept a toxic relationship with your family is the limited belief you need to give up.
I believe this will help you think differently about limiting your beliefs – and the power you have to turn them into support for your big goals and dreams.
What is one of the limited beliefs that hold you back?