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How to overcome the paralysis of a perfectionist


April 9, 2021

4 minutes of reading

Comments expressed by Businessmen the contributors are their own.


My start-up was extremely difficult. The business part is not difficult. I can learn how to market and develop brands. There are millions of free resources out there. What I struggle with is my mindset.

I got it in my own way.

At that time, I was going through a huge personal change. In the end I was faced with unresolved childhood trauma and the accompanying emotions of .

For anyone unfamiliar with shame, it’s a subconscious, overwhelmingly strong belief that you’re completely worthless and not good enough. A common defense against shame is perfectionism. I feel like the only way I can share my business with anyone is if it’s perfect and high-performing. But of course, it’s impossible to have a business that works well in the first place. Unfortunately, this is how the cycle plays out. Shame leads to striving for perfection, and not achieving perfect form cannot lead to more shame.

Related: Perfection is a trap, and it stops you from being successful

Perfectionism leads to . When you put too much pressure on yourself or a decision, you create fear of wrong choices and failure. describing perfectionism as “often the path to , , addiction, and paralyzing life ”.

So how do you break that cycle? Here are three things that worked for me.

1. Change your mindset

You have the right to change your mind and you have the right to change your feelings.

There are a lot of negative thoughts going through my mind as I am building my business. For example, I would think, “I don’t have any clients yet. Nobody cares what I have to say. Why am I doing this?” Growing your business out of panic or anxiety won’t get you far.

I worked a lot to change my mindset. In the end, I was able to convince myself, “I have a unique combination of business and life experience, allowing me to be able to help as many people as I am right now, in ways no one else is. another can do it. ”

Related: Mark Cuban: ‘Perfection is the enemy of success’

As I grew my business from comfort and confidence, I was more creative, motivated, and ready to take chances. I was able to build my business from a state of relaxation and empowerment.

2. Try things that don’t have expectations

When we place expectations on our actions, we create fear that the expectation will not be met. When I let go of expectations, I started move. I took a deep breath, asked myself what to do next, and made the first come to mind without giving it any meaning. I’m just starting to try things out, with no expectation that it will work or not.

When you try everything, you get started study what works and what doesn’t. And then you start to do more. Small steps produce small wins, turn into bigger and bigger wins. Movement creates flow. And flow leads to breakthroughs.

3. Love the journey

Life is after all about the journey, not the destination. There will be ups and downs in your business journey. Success and failure. Hug them all.

In his book, Road less people, M. Scott Peck said, “We are guaranteed a winner once we simply realize that everything that happened to us has been designed to teach us what we need to know on the journey. mine. Now there is better news that we cannot lose, must we win? “

Every barrier you meet is there to teach you something, to help you become better. Don’t resist those barriers – embrace them! See those challenging moments as opportunities for growth. Say to yourself, “All right, ring it.” I see you, I accept your lesson. And now I will move on as a smarter and better person.

Related: Why perfection can bring happiness

Appreciate what you learn, who you meet, how you are growing and getting better every day. Love the process.

The bottom line

As the famous saying goes, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Strive for the momentum, not the perfection, and fall in love with the journey.

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