I have been with my loved one for almost 7 years. While he was separated from his wife, they never divorced. It is for financial reasons.
Because of his difficult relationship with his wife, I had to take care of his health instead.
Last September, he underwent surgery for cancer and realized he hadn’t arranged anything for me. After his recovery, he set up a Totten trust, with about $ 50,000 thousand in it. We live in Florida.
In January, he fell ill, had to operate again and was discharged into a rehabilitation hospital on February 12. Two days before discharge, he had a fight with his wife and daughter. He was so angry that he transferred a large amount (over $ 250,000) to the account he had set up for me.
I did not know about this transfer until early March, when he was transferred to the hospital.
‘I never asked for more, or tied his hand in any way. I have not admitted to my family that I know about the account. ”
During this time, due to pain and physical problems (he is delirious and supposed to be unable to make health care decisions), I have to make a decision. They were unable to diagnose him, and he was sent to the hospice, where he passed away this week.
During this time, due to pain and physical problems (he was delirious and supposed to be unable to make health care decisions), I had to make a decision. They were unable to diagnose him, and he was sent to the hospice, where he passed away this week.
Therefore, he never gets a chance to rethink money transfer or execute a transaction.
During this time, his wife was hostile, mean, and petty, refused to pay the hospice for the ambulance, and refused to give funeral information to the hospice. She did other unpleasant things and gave me negative comments.
My question is: Can she dispute the account through probate? Aside from knowing he had set up an account, I never asked for more, or coerced him in any way. I have not admitted to my family that I know about the account. These sums of money are only a small part of his fortune.
Honestly, I can use the fund to replenish the money I’ve spent, and of course use it for my own retirement. I also have a lot of emotional stress caused by my wife and daughter. That said, I am still willing to return the funds in his daughter’s account.
Girlfriend of 7 years
People don’t usually act rationally when they’re grieving. And you are all grieving, in different ways and perhaps for different reasons. First, this sounds like a terrible challenge, and I’m sorry that your partner passed away during such a stressful time, and you all had to go through this. It couldn’t be easy for you, his daughter or his estranged wife, as they had such terrible conditions when he died.
Like you, they met and fell in love. At some point, they also believed that they would be together for life. That’s worth keeping in mind at times like this. It will help you understand the pain she is going through and I hope, forgive her for her behavior. For all such actions, they are rarely relevant to you.
There’s always a chance that someone will sue if they feel looked down on, fired, or disrespected. The success of such a lawsuit may depend on your partner’s health condition, as he was delirious during his medical crisis. At the same time, he has had some knock-out fights with his estranged wife and vice versa, so it may or may not be difficult to argue that he has a vulnerable mental state when they are. Conflict on many issues. and try to hash them out.
Either way, you are likely to approach the matter of trust to a certain degree, if not the funeral and ambulance costs. My advice is to do your best to apply the same spirit of acceptance to all of the above.
‘Apply the same spirit of acceptance to trust as ambulance and funeral costs.’
Benjamin Trujillo, Moneta’s senior advisor, said: “The Totten Trust is essentially designating ‘pay-on-death’ (POD) to a bank account and is often used as an alternative to drafting a will or fiduciary. ”“ In Florida, a POD, considered a continuing (or lifetime) gift, grants the jurisdiction of a probate court if his estate declares the gift. In this particular case, the deceased’s spouse may attempt to assert that the gift is invalid on the grounds that you took the ‘over-influence’ to obtain it. “
“In asserting over-influence in this case, his spouse will assert that you manipulated him to create PODs that he wouldn’t otherwise do on his own. If the court agrees with her, the POD can be undone, ”he added.
But Trujillo says there may be some red signs that you need to look out for. “If the transfer of his money from his daughter’s account is unacceptable or illegal, then it is very likely that the money will be returned to her account. If he has access to those funds for any reason, then you can keep them. As for other funds, if you do not know that they have been transferred or he intends to transfer them, it will be difficult to demonstrate undue influence on your part. ”
He also offers to check with the bank to see if the account is in your name. “Accelerating that process dramatically improves your bargaining position. You should consult your local attorney to determine your next steps ”.
Once again, my condolences are with you. I hope you find a way to continue with all of your beautiful memories still intact, no matter the outcome.
You can email The Moneyist if you have any questions about finance and ethics at [email protected].
the group where we look for answers to life’s toughest money problems. Readers write to me with all kinds of dilemmas. Post your question, tell me what you’d like to know more or consider on the latest Moneyist columns.
By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Company, the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story or versions of it, across all media and platforms. platform, including through third parties.