My mother was about to die of cancer and did not have much longer to live.
Her current husband told me they had found a lawyer to make a will, and all her possessions would belong to me and my two brothers.
1. When is the right time to ask her what she wants?
2. Who should I talk to about her wishes?
3. Do I ask about it now or wait until she comes over?
Obviously, I don’t want to sound greedy, but I feel as if this is important information for me and the rest of my family to know.
One of the three sons
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The ideal time to have this discussion is before your mother gets sick.
With that said, trust your gut. How you decide to approach this issue depends on your mother’s current medical condition and how you have a relationship with her. If it’s a healthy, sustainable relationship where you can talk about anything, you can say, “Jack please tell us that you’ve made a will to support the children. Is there anything we need to know, or is there anything we can do to help Jack or your fortune? That is, don’t come bring the question alone. Bring some suggested desk support.
If your mother is in a vulnerable position, you can listen to your stepfather and be with her in the last days of her life. Maybe she did Not want to discuss her will and her last will, and I guess she won’t want to be baked into this topic in a hospital bed, so be careful. (I assume that your stepfather has been assigned the duty.) Ultimately, you should make sure that your mother feels comfortable in her last days and that includes helping to alleviate malfunction period of stress or anxiety.
Timing and tone are important in any discussion. Amy Zehnder, CEO, lead and inheritance advisor at Bank of America Ascent Private Capital Management, told me in MarketWatch recently, “Own your moneyAnd families are often confused about such conversations. “The kids don’t want to ask questions,” she said, “because they’re afraid of being viewed as greedy. “Be curious and understand how it works, not ‘what’s in it for me.’
Documents will be filed with the probate court upon your mother’s death. You can access documents through probate court and / or through a family attorney. The court clerk will be able to help you find the case number and hearing date, if you provide your mother’s name and the date of her death.
If not, you can ask your stepfather. If he is good enough to inform you of your mother’s will, he should be ready to share the contents of the will after your mother’s death.
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