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My wife drank and gambled all of our money, and my own children have grown up addicted to drugs and play video games. What can I do?


Dear Quentin,

My wife and I since 2008. We got married in 2015. We have one child together and she has two children from two previous relationships.

Since we got married, my wife drank a lot and gambled all of our money, and my own children have grown up addicted to drugs and played video games day and night. In the meantime, I go to work every day trying to keep us from falling financially out.

We really have nothing to save and no retirement plans, due to the fact that no one but me seems to care. At this rate, I will have to work until I am 150 years old. Please help! I love them, but they are destroying everything.

Best regards,

Hopeless

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Dear despair,

Love is an investment. It should be reciprocated.

You work, you pay mortgages and bills, you want a good life and / or a better life. But if no one in your household is there to help you achieve that goal, you need to ask yourself what you can do differently, not just what they could do differently.

You won’t pour your time and money into a job or a stock or a joint venture if the other partners in that joint venture are actively trying to squander what you’ve earned. This is no exception. Your life is your own. And your own children need to buckle up and move out.

If you’re doing weight training at home, they should. The decision to get married is probably one of the most important financial decisions we make in life. Divorce is sometimes as bad as a recession, if not worse. But being in an unhappy marriage can cost a lot more.

You are supporting a partner and her / your children, in addition to yours, while at work and trying to save money for emergencies, in addition to retirement – all while and odd people Sit in their lockers and watch you go to work. And so: What price, love?


‘You won’t pour your time and money into a job or a stock or a joint venture if the other partners in that joint venture are actively trying to waste what you’ve earned. This is no exception. ”

Don’t be hostage to others, and don’t become a lifelong prisoner for others to deliberately ignore your needs. They will watch you script and save while they play video games and gamble, as long as you allow it. We are all responsible for the life we ​​choose.

I don’t recommend using joint bank accounts, as you need to keep tight control of your income and expenses and make it clear to your family that you have a budget. You need to comply with this and not be blamed for requests of others not being met.

For your wife’s gambling debts, debts accumulated during the marriage are generally considered community property in the state of community property. There are nine community property states: Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin.

Check the laws in your state about such debts. Is a lawyer based in New Mexico Dorene A. Kuffer point out: “When certain losses or liabilities are the spouse’s sole responsibility – as with gambling – the court may take a different approach to distributing assets.”

Kuffer adds: “Whenever a spouse spends, gives, or spends money without knowing or without the other spouse’s consent, this can be considered a ‘waste of property’ and gambling is an example of this spending pattern.

In a fair distribution country, such as New York, a judge would consider wasting money for non-marital benefits. That includes gambling and alcohol use, lavish shopping and money spent on out-of-marriage relationships, etc. I tell you this because it’s important to know.

If your wife is not willing or willing to accept that she is addicted to alcohol and gambling, and is not willing to seek the help she needs, you cannot help her. She needs to want to help herself. You also have a child who needs financial and emotional stability.

Your child should be your number 1 priority right now.

Monetaryist: ‘I don’t feel American’: I went down in my 20s and lived in fear of debt. My wife wants to upgrade our house and our lives. What do I do?

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