My wife and I bought a house a year ago. I believe we paid more than 20%, but the assessment matches what we paid. I don’t like the house. It is attached. There is noise pollution, and I don’t think the neighborhood is the safest. We have spent most of our savings on upfront, and the rest we invest in her business and a little in stocks.
The procedure to receive the house was urgent because at that time my wife and I were staying with their biological parents to save money. After a year living there, my wife insisted on moving out as soon as possible. We were looking for a house for less than a month when she decided to choose the house that we live in today.
When she has money after the divorce, she contributes two-thirds of the down payment. Because of this, I feel as if her opinion weighs more than mine. Although I wanted to have a property for multiple families to cover costs, I have agreed to stay in this one-family home. We discount 50%.
I still feel frustrated about this house almost a year later. I want to save money to buy more real estate investment. I know it can still be done, but I believe we wasted a perfect opportunity and stepped back at least 5 years before we could invest in another property.
My dream is to have investment property so I have the option not to work and live in other locations without worrying about my income. I’m currently an accountant, which I hate. We are currently expecting our first child, which only adds to our financial responsibility. I know I sound like an asshole. Please help me see the light.
First world problems
Do you want your early years of marriage to be ravaged by what you did not may made? You’re trying to control the past and, unless you have a DeLorean, a town clock and a few wires, you can reconcile with the fact that they both did their best with the information you had at the time. That point, or wasted the next five years looking back.
Forgive your wife for probably trying ahead to a decision you might not be completely comfortable with and forgive yourself for letting his wife’s money interfere with your thoughts and not make it up. sound more at that time. She may have offered close to 70% of the upfront payment, but each should be responsible for 50% for making this option. Own it.
Skip the calculator and stop calculating who has the most money, did or didn’t overpay, and how much time it may have taken before achieving financial independence. Even if you’ve bought a home for multiple families, you might have trouble getting the repairs done, a tenant from hell or other unforeseen circumstances ruining your timeline.
It seems your unhappiness with your career choice – one for which you are also 100% responsible – mixed with this house. You must identify the dry rot before removing it. It’s not your wife’s fault either. If you are not satisfied with your job, take action to change it. Change does not take time. It needs to work.
You are playing boxing with your own hopes and dreams. But I don’t know exactly who you are competing with – who do you think you should be now? Here’s what I know for sure: You can get enough or save enough to turn the key open to a house that better suits your taste, but behind that door you’ll find a door. another, and another door behind it.
Very few first homes are perfect. If you’re lucky enough to have a job and a home, being happy with what you have is a choice. You are in a better position than most people, with 50% of your home already paid. Be grateful for what you have and with your wife a realistic plan that allows you to plan your future and enjoy your life right now.
If you are enjoying your time in woulda-woulda-cana, you will no longer live anywhere because you will not be present for your wife, children or yourself.
I will leave you with these words of wisdom:
I measured my life with teaspoons;
I know dying voices along with a dying fall
Underneath music from a further room.
So how should I guess?
“The love song of J. Alfred Prufrock” by Dr. Eliot
the team where we were looking for answers to life’s toughest money problems. Readers write to me with all kinds of dilemmas. Post your question, tell me what you’d like to know more or consider on the latest Moneyist columns.